To celebrate or to mourn?

by Mike

I had to go to a funeral service today and as I watched the mourning friends and family in the church; subsequently in the graveyard and the reception, a thought struck me. How are we actually meant to act, apart from respectful, during a funeral?

I think someone’s life should be celebrated rather then mourned. I realize people have different opinions and that some wish to make it a sombre affair but I don’t think it is a reason to be down. The departed are supposed to have left this world for a journey to the spiritual side and thus we assume they have gone to a better life. So why not celebrate that?

Their lives should have meaning and as it is obvious that a person’s grieving periods can take an infinite amount of time to full process and heal. Losing someone like that is never easy but to just have one full day where you and everyone in attendance can remember the great things about them without the guilt and grief that they have finally departed.

In an ideal world this might happen and it’s also important to realise that a funeral can be the worst time for loved ones to even think about putting a positive spin on things as they are trying to come to terms with the loss.

Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men.

Quintus Ennis

I often wonder how many people die of a broken heart. There are many stories of couples who have been married for many decades and once their partner dies they feel empty and die within months of the other.

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash may have been an example of that. They married in 1968 and through ups and downs stayed with each other for 35 years before Carter Cash died due to complications after heart surgery. Cash was obviously distraught but continued working as was the wish of Carter Cash.

He died, less then four months later, in September 2003 but stopped performing the previous July. Perhaps he felt it was too difficult to go on without her.

He was strumming the guitar but he wouldn’t sing, … And he said, ‘I’m waiting for June to get my nerve up.’ I thought, ‘How is Johnny Cash waiting for anybody to get his nerve up?’ But he really needed her. … They both were incomplete in some ways and when they were brought together, they felt completed.

Joaquin Pheonix

Who knows what the right answer is to how we grieve. I think what is most important is that there are family or loved ones close to us during the period of time as it can be hard to go through it alone.

Thursday, August 16th, 2007 and is filed under GOD, Love Thy Neighbour, Pain and suffering, Thoughts & Questions.