Stop The Hurt
I once knew of a woman, from my university days, who admitted to me one night that she had been beaten by her boyfriend. The one thing that struck a chord with me was her revelation that, upon being hit for the first time, it was “so out of character and not like him at all”
I find it amazing how some victims of domestic violence can justify their partner’s behaviour. The justification can extend to other aspects of the relationship, with the basic premise being if they know they can get away with it they will continue to do it until they grind down their victim.
Harsh words are said in the heat of passion, arguments happen sometimes, (and I don’t condone this) a hand is raised (by the man and/or the woman) and the scenes that follow afterwards are reprehensible.
As we all know it is mainly women who are the victims, in 2003 it was found that 29% of women but only 5% of men report their experience of domestic violence to the Gardaí. I have often wondered what kind of power and glory someone can get by beating someone senseless like that. The old mantra of the man ruling all and that the wife/girlfriend should be the obedient ‘little woman’ is the random thoughts of a coward and an idiot.
Yes I accept that sometimes there is a mental imbalance with those who lash out against those who are not in a position to defend themselves, but does someone ever deserve the odd ‘slap’ to be ‘kept in line‘? I think not.
I feel sorry for men who are victims of this kind of abuse because they face the prospect of ridicule wherever they turn, it is perceived that they are not ‘real men’. I would most men with any kind of common sense to contemplate for one second how difficult it would be to ever consider trying to report their wife/girlfriend to the authorities because she is beating them up.
Being a victim like that would drive any person insane and reduce them to nothing. Their confidence would be shattered and those that cannot leave because they have to consider the rest of their family are constantly walking a tight rope. The savage beast cannot be angered and those that do face a wrath, a coward’s wrath but it is still a painful force to be reckoned with.
My only advice to anyone who suffers from that kind of abuse would be to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. I realise how tough it is to do that and it is not simply a case of just ‘walking out’, however a short term life of next to nothing while trying to get back on your feet is a million times better then a long term life of being knocked off your feet.
For those who are interested, my friend from university found that her boyfriend (from her home town) was cheating on her, she walked in on them, he beat her and thankfully it was the last she ever saw of him.
Sunday, September 9th, 2007 and is filed under Pain and suffering, Thoughts & Questions.
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